What ADHD Really Looks Like in Kids (and Why It’s So Often Missed)

Written By Elizabeth Shipman

What ADHD Really Looks Like in Kids (and Why It’s So Often Missed)

When you hear “ADHD,” you might picture a kid running in circles, climbing the furniture, or blurting out random facts about dinosaurs during math time. And yes, that can be part of the picture.

But ADHD isn’t just about being hyper or impulsive—and it doesn’t look the same in every child.

In fact, some of the kids who struggle the most with ADHD are the ones no one notices. They’re the daydreamers. The sensitive kids who hold it together all day at school, then melt down the minute they get home. The ones who seem like they’re doing fine—but are working twice as hard to keep up.

Let’s talk about what ADHD actually looks like in kids (hint: it’s not one-size-fits-all) and why it’s often missed—especially in girls.

ADHD Isn’t Just About Being “Hyper”

ADHD affects how the brain manages attention, emotions, and tasks. It’s not a behavior problem—it’s a brain difference. Some kids with ADHD are always moving. Others are quiet and tuned out.

Here are some signs of ADHD that often surprise people:

  • Losing everything: jackets, lunchboxes, homework

  • Starting chores and forgetting halfway through

  • Getting hyperfocused on games, art, or books

  • Big reactions over small things (wrong-color cup, anyone?)

  • Talking a lot or interrupting without meaning to

  • After-school meltdowns from holding it together all day

    Why So Many Kids (Especially Girls) Get Missed

    A lot of kids with ADHD don’t “cause problems” at school. They might sit quietly, doodling while their minds bounce between five different thoughts. Some try to be perfect. Others hide their struggles so well, no one notices—until things fall apart.

    Girls, in particular, are often:

    • Quietly overwhelmed

    • Anxious or perfectionistic

    • Dismissed as “dramatic”

    • Talkative but “chatty,” not disruptive

    These kids aren’t attention-seeking. They’re trying to survive in a system not built for their brains.

    What Happens When ADHD Goes Unnoticed

    Kids with undiagnosed ADHD often hear things like:

    • “Why can’t you just focus?”

    • “You’re not even trying.”

    • “Stop being so dramatic.”

    Over time, these messages chip away at self-worth. Many kids begin to feel like they’re always messing up—and no one understands why.

    Getting support isn’t about labeling. It’s about understanding what’s really going on so we can help them feel confident, safe, and successful.

    Signs to Watch For

    • Homework takes forever

    • Constantly losing or forgetting things

    • Transitions are a daily struggle

    • Big emotions over tiny issues

    • Trouble following multi-step instructions

    • Zoning out or hyperfocusing

    • They seem overwhelmed a lot… and you are too

    If you’re seeing several of these, it might be time to look deeper.

    How I Can Help

    At Kaleidoscope Mental Health, I work with children and families navigating ADHD and other neurodivergent experiences.

    Using play therapy, parent coaching, and lots of compassion, I help kids build emotional tools and confidence—and help parents feel like they have a real plan.

    Whether your child is bouncing off the walls or quietly struggling, you’re not alone—and neither are they.

    Curious about working together?

    Reach out [here] or [schedule a consultation]. Let’s make things feel a little less overwhelming—together

Elizabeth Shipman